You are NOT alone, 
This was NOT your fault
You did NOT do anything wrong

Thriving Beyond Abuse: the Journey

I loved being a little girl. I loved the lacy dresses, the patent leather shoes that stayed so shiny, the pull up knee socks with little trim around the top, the ribbons in my hair. I loved the feel of the water on my skin when I went swimming at my cottage in the summer sunshine and I loved playing with my sisters and my cousins and my friends. I loved being a little girl until somebody in my family taught me otherwise. I thought it was normal for somebody to crawl into my bed with me at night and have sex with me. I didn't know what sex was then, I was too little, I just knew it felt very wrong. I didn't know that things like this happened to other people because I did not share with other people. I kept my mouth quiet and held my secret close to my heart. I did that because I was told I'd cause a lot of trouble for a lot of people if I said anything. So, I shut up: I closed off my heart and stopped trusting people for a very long time.
For many years I held onto the truth that I was unlovable, I was not to be trusted, I was not to share with anybody, I was worthless. I was a victim and I chose to stay that way. I didn't know any better. It wasn't until many years later that I realized that sexual abuse was not just about me, there were many others. In my therapy and group counselling sessions I learned that I, sadly, was not alone in the horror.
I knew it was my choice to hold onto, or let go of, the victim perspective. It was my choice, and my choice only, to claim back my power, to face my fears and move forward. Boy that was tough. I had decided to speak my truth to those who were involved. This decision was very difficult for me as it meant I'd be turning away from people who said they loved me. I came to the realization that the heart knows what the heart wants and I made a choice to honour that wish.
The hardest thing for me to do was to honour my choices. I'd never really had to do that before. I'd always gone into the default place of victim and now I had to make choices that would help me move forward. I was completely stuck. I had gone from victim to survivor and didn't know where to turn for help.
When the student is ready the teacher will appear.
A chance meeting a few years later with a masterful coach led me to the belief that I was still stuck. We began working together to provide me with the accountability I craved as I shifted from victim to thriver. This work was powerful and honourable and life changing for me. I could see what I was still holding onto and the reasons behind that.
My goal, my dream, my purpose, yes my calling, is to empower YOU to know that there is so much more: more joy, more love, more happiness, more opportunity, more gratitude: and it's all right there for you. I truly believe that my own travels through my abuse journey were necessary so that I could, in turn, offer myself out to others who are still suffering.
I am deeply humbled by the courageous and brave souls who work with me. They are the fearless ones in this battle as they work to regain their trust, to rejoice in who they are and to shine brightly.

Living la vida fearless, 

Coach Jan

http://www.thrivingbeyondabuse.com
http://consumersgo.to/infojanet.html

Living la Vida Fearless Coaching Services
Certified professional co-active coach
Member International Coaches Federation